ZED’s dead, baby, and the GuiNea Pigs wonder what did we expect?

January 3, 2019

Wendy Parker

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This just in: Gui and Nea Pig finally break their silence on being wholly excluded from ELD testing.

In an exclusive interview, the Pigs expressed their surprise in FMCSA’s decision to allow self-certification for ELD manufacturers.

“For years it’s been us,” said Gui. “When something needed testing, they called the Pigs. Gui and Nea Pigs got it done, I tell you.”

Clearly that’s no longer the case.

According to the FMCSA Fact Sheet regarding ELD’s, “manufacturers must self-certify that ELDs meet technical standards in the ELD rule and register with the FMCSA.”

Admittedly, technical standards listed for manufacturers are copious and detailed. But how does the agency know for sure all standards are actually being met?

“It’s preposterous to burden the consumer with an expensive ‘weeding out’ process,” says Gui, “Now any kadiddlehopper out there can self-certify and register products that may or may not be functional. That’s not safe.”

Historically, Gui and Nea Pigs have been employed as a less expensive and more effective test subjects for ‘weeding out’ processes. “We just don’t understand,” says Nei. “We’ve been trusted for so long. Everyone knows GuiNea Pigs are the first defense against sub-par consumer products.”

Gui Pigs has an idea he’s not afraid to share.

“I blame the ASPCA. Now just hear me out before you shush me, Nei. They do good work, it’s true. But sometimes GuiNea Pigs are necessary. That’s what we do – we’re the pioneers.”

“Self-leveling is fine when you’re talking about cookie dough, but a ‘self-leveling’ process after a ‘self-certification’ for something as important as the small-business trucking economy is self-destructive,” Nei interjects. “Gui and I are partial to small things. We know what it’s like to have pertinent information that’s completely overlooked.”

The Pigs predict more ELD manufacturers will close up shop in 2019.

“It’s a shame,” Gui said. “We could have helped and we weren’t even asked. Now the owner-operators are bearing the burden of not only “weeding out” bad products, but paying for new ones that may also be duds.”

Gravestone with ZED logoMeanwhile, catchy names like “F-ELD” and “ZED” haven’t saved those ELD providers from closing up shop. F-ELD “self-leveled” its way right on out of the business 6 months after the 2017 mandate landed. And as of Jan. 31, ZED Connect is “phasing out” the ZED ELD product. It hasn’t been confirmed yet if that was a “weeding out” or “self-leveling” process, but it was expensive for the consumers who invested in those products.

And no one is surprised except the GuiNea Pigs.

Wendy Parker

Wendy Parker has covered the trucking industry since 2012 after she says she “lost my mind and decided to climb inside my husband’s big truck to travel with him as an over-the road, long-haul trucker.” Her unique writing style that ranges from biting satire to investigative journalism coupled with her unbridled passion for fighting round out a wildly talented stable of writers.

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