If the FMCSA had commercials like prescription drug companies

July 31, 2019

Wendy Parker

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Who here besides me is sick to death of pharmaceutical drug commercials? Does anyone else wonder why in the blue hell we’re submitted to literally hours upon hours a day of commercials for things we can’t buy without a prescription from a doctor who went to school to understand why people might need these medications? Shouldn’t that lovely barrage of information be reserved for doctors?

Someone might let the pharmaceutical industry know that the crazy-long lists of “side effects may vary and could include” are simply terrifying for those paying attention to the fine print. Does anyone but me wonder just how many pills you’d have to take to counteract all the side effects of the pills you’re told on TV to take?

“You’ll grow a stunning head of hair, but you might not be able to leave the house to show it off because of painful lesions the hair medications cause on the bottoms of your feet. But don’t worry! We have a pill for those lesions! Side effects may include warty earlobes and graying of the tongue, but hey – what’s worse?”

I’m pretty sure I can live with a few pimples if a side effect of the pimple medicine might be blindness or copious bleeding from the face.

I don’t get it. I also don’t get why anyone would ingest something to calm a skin rash that might cause bloody bowel movements. That’s some alarming crap – in every single way. I don’t think the general public really understands the implications of “may cause bloody stool” warnings. And what if the medication doesn’t work as intended? You’re still itchy and your butt hurts and you paid a doctor for the privilege of buying the medicine that caused it. Wow. Where do I sign up for that kind of party?

I’ll stick with baking soda and vinegar paste directly to the rash, thank you very much.

Perhaps someone should make commercials for the FMCSA about how some of the rules and regs they make have “side effects that may vary and could include.”

Clearly they already know there are flaws, they “prescribe” exemptions to alleviate uncomfortable side effects of bad laws every day. Consequently, we have laws with reams of exemptions that render them ineffective and difficult to enforce. How many bad laws are we going to have to swallow to accommodate the laws we’re told we need to be safe?

Side effects may include losing experienced drivers, which in turn causes fatality rates to increase in commercial vehicle crashes. But don’t worry, we have a cure for that! We’re going to amend another law we made to alleviate the uncomfortable side effect of death caused by that one law we made. We’ll get back to ya’ sometime around July 29th to let you know about it…

Meanwhile, back at the Bat Cave of real life trucking, it’s July 31st and there’s still nothing posted about hours-of-service reform.

For an agency that puts so much emphasis on driver’s time and how they use it, you’d think they would at least honor their own deadlines and publish the new pill to swallow on time.

Wendy Parker

Wendy Parker has covered the trucking industry since 2012 after she says she “lost my mind and decided to climb inside my husband’s big truck to travel with him as an over-the road, long-haul trucker.” Her unique writing style that ranges from biting satire to investigative journalism coupled with her unbridled passion for fighting round out a wildly talented stable of writers.

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