Promobot-ulisms are the future of shenanigans

“I got the promobot-ulisms once. Nearly kilt me. Ain’t ate a Denny’s buffet since.”

Not that kind of botulism. The new kind.

The kind happening earlier this week at 2019 Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas. In what can only be described as shenanigans, a Promobot minding its own Promo-business was struck and “killed” by an autonomous Tesla automobile.

Video footage of the incident leaves more questions than answers. Enquiring minds want to know why a lone Promobot was wandering (or lurking?) in the parking lot? And does Elon Musk really have a BINGO card with pictures of things his cars need to be in the press for running over or into? Because that’s really not how this is works, Lonny.

Unidentified and completely unreliable sources reported Promobot escaped convention security, and was heard wailing, “I’d rather have a Tesla run over me than a Promo-lobotomy!” seconds before impact.

This claim immediately leads to questions of possible Promobot-abuse. It also leads to the question of, “Who cares?”

Of course, it could all be an elaborately staged hoax to draw attention to both autonomous-product lines. I mean, it’s a Promobot. It’s in the name, for heaven’s sake. They no doubt have an outside marketing team just itching to hashtag a #Promobotulisms on Instagram for the masses. Whether or not Lonny gets to mark a square off his BINGO-card-of-things-to-kill is anyone’s guess. And can you really “kill” a robot?

So. Many. Questions.