Wheels of Time

By Randy Bailey, Cowiche, Wash.

I am an accomplished tactician when it comes to bringing home trophy antique trucks without drawing the attention of my spouse of 20 years, and it is with great authority that I present this thesis on the subject. I used to collect cars, and although they are much smaller and less imposing than trucks, they nonetheless served as a good training ground for my truck collecting.

I started my collection with a 1962 Kenworth COE which I “needed” for various hauling jobs. This purchase was greeted with some small enthusiasm from my wife, and she may even have bragged to a friend that, “Randy bought a truck to haul stuff with.” However, I then had to explain that the truck was too big for some hauling and that I needed a smaller truck to haul smaller stuff. The second truck, of course, was met with less enthusiasm than the first truck, and I don’t believe that it provided the opportunity for any bragging on her part. But I now had a good base for starting my collection.

The third truck was a true “antique.” It was to be my long-term restoration project resulting in a show-quality truck to take to various ATHS events. The rolling of the eyes and the sighing ceased after only two days. Next, however, came the fourth truck, and this is the line that must be crossed victoriously if one is to further expand the collection.

There are several techniques which, if applied correctly, are successful at this crisis point.

The one that worked for me was the explanation that I was bringing home a parts truck for my “antique” truck. This parts truck ploy was a real boon to the collection, as I then also required a parts truck for each antique truck already in my collection. I ignored my wife’s passing comments like, “How can 1949 Peterbilt parts fit a ’37 Dodge pickup?”

Another successful technique is the sentimental approach. A good friend of mine, Jerry Noordman, uses this one over and over. He runs into the house with teary eyes (which sometimes smell suspiciously like onion) and tells his wife, “I can’t believe the good fortune! I found a 1960 Diamond T931 exactly like the one I drove when I was 16!” Jerry apparently drove dozens of trucks when he was 16. You ought to check out Jerry’s Diamond T if you get the chance (see photo). It’s one of the finest trucks you’ll ever see, but don’t tell his wife that Jerry was actually 20 when it was built.

The “fantastic investment opportunity” is another ploy that can be used effectively: “And to think that we could get one of only 15 still known to exist!” However, this approach ultimately fails when your wife gets suspicious because these assets are never resold in order to realize their huge appreciation in value. But by that time, if you have moved quickly, you have added two or three more trophies to the collection.

Along the way I discovered you should never have your wife help you tow your trucks home.

One Sunday morning, when I believed that all my neighbors were in church, my wife helped me tow home a rather dilapidated find. As we turned down our lane, I saw one of my neighbors (who had skipped church) working in his yard. He had a clear view of my entourage of rust, and broke into a fit of mirth that could be heard for two blocks. Fortunately, some unknown informant reported to my neighbor’s pastor that he had skipped church to work in his yard. So Sunday mornings once again became available as prime towing opportunities – but never again with my wife.

A final point of the highest importance to truck collecting is the storage area. I personally picked a corner of the property out of my wife’s usual line of vision. I cordoned off this area with buildings, board fences, some arborvitae, and, most importantly, the broad side of an ancient 40-foot bus.

This bus is still mobile and is the key part of my storage area.

Its broad side is visible from the far end of the house, and I simply keep moving it closer to the house, thereby increasing my storage area. The price of my wife’s getting her vision checked once a year is small compared to the cost of off-property storage. I can take trucks in and out at random without so much as a glance from the house. The other day I rolled a 1949 American LaFrance off my semi without comment from wife except for, “What could you possibly have been doing outside in the dark for the past two hours?” and “What are you hauling that you had to cover with a tarp?”

Don’t tell my wife that my collection now consists of a 1937 Dodge, a 1946 GMC long nose, 1944 and 1946 Diamond Ts, a 1947 Chevy, a 1952 IH, a 1949 American LaFrance, a 1948 White, a 1955 GMC bus, an old John Deere crawler, and a couple of tractors. I don’t think my wife realizes that the ’62 Kenworth is gone. Hey! That gives me an idea for another strategy for adding to my collection.

Good luck with your truck collecting, friends. If you follow my suggestions, you’ll be well on your way to building a prize collection. Just try to ignore comments like, “Isn’t that bus getting closer to the house?” LL

Love trucking history? Check out Memory Lane.