Slight Detour – November 2024

I’ve covered my fair share of cargo theft cases. From brazen beef bandits to thieves making off with 11,000 pounds worth of dimes, there isn’t much that surprises me when it comes to the lengths criminals will go to get a payday. That is, until thieves in Ontario stepped up their game.

Recently, investigators from the Peel Regional Police Commercial Auto Crime Bureau arrested one man and issued warrants for two others following a cargo theft investigation. It wasn’t what they were stealing but how they were stealing it that blew my mind.

According to police, the three suspects would closely tail their targets in their own vehicle, then would break into the trailer while the truck was in motion. That’s right. It was some real “Mission: Impossible” kind of stuff.

In one instance, the three men stole $1.8 million worth of cargo, exiting the trailer while it was stopped at a red light.

Two other thefts using the same game plan netted $420,000 worth of electronics. Police said a fourth incident was unsuccessful, as “the driver continued to operate the tractor-trailer and was aware of the suspect’s presence.”

The one suspect already in custody is facing multiple charges. Police are still working to track down the other two.

I certainly don’t condone stealing, but I have to give these guys points for style. I’m sure it’ll make a great story for their cellmates.

Don’t cry over spilled …

Another story I’ve seen plenty of is truck spills. Everything from human waste to ranch dressing has been spilled from trucks across our country. The level of disgustingness may vary, but I’m always going to click to see photos of the aftermath. However, there was something particularly “fowl” about our next story.

The small town of Shamokin, Pa., was recently graced with the lovely aroma of rotting garbage when a truck hauling discarded chicken parts spilled it’s load at an intersection.

According to the owner of the company hauling the parts, the truck was heading toward a traffic light when a car came to an abrupt stop, causing the contents of the trailer – which he referred to as “too sloppy” – to spill onto the road.

I’m honestly not sure what the consistency of a load of chicken parts is supposed to be, but “too sloppy” creates quite the mental picture.

Crews removed the chicken parts and soaked up the rest of the spill with absorbent materials. The Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Protection advised responders not to wash the streets due to concerns about the material reaching either the sewer system or a nearby creek. I bet that smelled lovely as the days went on.

The driver, was cited and fined for not securing the load.

Speaking of chickens

Police officers can be pretty crafty when it comes to catching folks red-handed. In a never-ending game of cat-and-mouse, they’re constantly evolving their techniques to stay a step ahead. Officers in San Francisco recently took this to a whole new level in an attempt to emphasize the importance of yielding to pedestrians in crosswalks.

During the exercise, Lt. Jonathan Ozol really took one for the team. Clad in an inflatable chicken costume, Ozol would attempt to navigate a crosswalk, signaling to nearby patrol cars when a motorist failed to yield and let him cross.

Officials said the purpose of the exercise was not only to write tickets – many of the drivers were let off with a warning – but also to increase awareness when it comes to pedestrian traffic.

“If you don’t see someone in a giant chicken costume, then we really have a problem,” Ozol said.

The exercise was one of five conducted by the department over a six-month stretch, each resulting in roughly 30 to 40 citations, according to officials. To keep it fresh, they changed intersections and costumes along the way, also using a unicorn and Big Bird to drive home their point.

“It’s having an impact,” Ozol said. “Drivers seem more aware, more cognizant. Certainly when they see the chicken.”

I’m not sure it’s what Ozol envisioned doing when he joined the force, but thanks to his game of chicken, the streets of San Francisco are a little safer for unicorns and birds of all kinds. And maybe even for pedestrians.

Feel the burn

For truckers, finding time to get a workout in can be a daunting task. Heck, it’s a real struggle even for those who don’t live their lives on the road, which makes our next story a little more impressive.

In a recent Facebook post, an officer with the Wabaunsee County Sheriff’s Office in Alma, Kan., showed some love to a driver he encountered at a local travel plaza.

“So, I’m eating a burrito and writing reports parked in the Flint Hills Plaza North Lot, and I see this dude running laps and it’s like … All right, this man is getting in a workout, that’s awesome,” the post read. “Halfway through my burrito, this dude then PULLS OUT FREE WEIGHTS FROM HIS TRUCK & STARTS PUMPING IRON!!!”

The officer said he watched the trucker do bicep curls and standing military presses and was in awe as he started doing laps around the truck carrying the weights. At that point, he said he needed to “meet this random hero.”

That hero was Kenneth Moore, a veteran of the U.S. Navy with over 30 years of trucking experience. The officer and the driver bonded over their shared military experience.

“Even at 50+ years young and on the road as a long-hauler, KEN IS STAYING TOUGH AND STRONG,” the officer wrote in the Facebook post. “Ken is a PHENOMENAL INSPIRATION to me as a Marine and lifelong endurance athlete. This Kansas Peace Officer was absolutely honored to meet you, Ken. Thank you for bringing that realness and being an awesome American!!”

Tip of the cap to you, Ken. Thanks for making the rest of us lazy bums look bad.

An eclectic palate

I’m a big fan of Mexican food. I thought I had tried it all. I was wrong. As it turns out, there is such a thing as Mexican bologna.

During a recent inspection, a CBP agent removed several suitcases from a vehicle, saying it “seemed heavier than normal.” Turns out that agent was right. Turns out that agent was right. Agents found 40 rolls of Mexican bologna – 748 pounds of meaty goodness – stashed in the suitcases.

According to the agency, Mexican bologna is a prohibited product because it is made from pork and has the potential to introduce foreign animal diseases to the U.S. pork industry.

This might not be news to some, but I was completely unaware there was such a thing. Needless to say, this immediately made me curious about what the heck the differences are between the stuff we get here versus the bologna south of the border.

One report describes the Mexican variety as “richer and more porky” than its American counterpart – something I never knew I wanted out of my bologna. Guess I’ll have to plan a trip to Mexico to see for myself.

As for the bologna, officials said it was “seized and destroyed by CBP agriculture specialists per USDA regulations” – which I assume means served fried, on white bread, with plain yellow mustard. LL