Slight Detour – July 2024

I’m not sure if it was the changing of the seasons or maybe just something in the air, but this year has had some doozies in terms of wild tales.

From the many uses of crickets to police playing dress-up, this edition of Slight Detour dials up the heat as we get into the heat of summer.

Hey, Dr. Jones, no time for love

Much like Indiana Jones, I don’t care for snakes. While that may be where the comparisons between the two of us end, our shared hate of these slithering danger noodles is the tie that binds. Indy and I aren’t alone – and I get the sense that the trucker in our first story isn’t a fan, either.

Elijah Bowles, a 60-year-old trucker from Southern California, said he was the victim of an “attempted murder” after receiving a package in the mail that contained a venomous snake.

According to reports, the snake – which was later identified as a western rattlesnake – was concealed inside a box marked “fragile” and had been surrounded with cotton balls in an attempt to muffle its rattle. Bowles said a friend made the shocking discovery as the two were leaving the post office.

“That’s attempted murder, if you ask me,” Bowles told the L.A. Times. “When she opened the box, she threw it at me almost, and she says, ‘There’s a snake in there.’”

He may want to reconsider their friendship if she’s willing to throw a live snake at him, but who am I to judge?

After pulling to the side of the road and using a stick to open the box, Bowles discovered the estimated 2-foot-long “nope rope” and called animal control.Fortunately, no one was hurt during the unwelcome surprise. The U.S. Postal Inspection Service is conducting an ongoing investigation into the incident.

While getting a live rattlesnake in the mail is sure to illicit confusion, the arrival of a second “virtually identical package” to his home address in Florida put Bowles on high alert. The driver told his family to take the box to the police rather than open it.

“I’m trying to figure out, do I have any enemies?” Bowles said. “I’m not a gangster. I’m a truck driver.”

That’s right, this man was sent two snakes, which feels like it could – and probably should – be the record for “most snakes mysteriously received in the mail.” I bet his response was similar to Dr. Jones’ famous line: “Why’d it have to be snakes?”

Battling through the sludge

This column isn’t just for sharing wild tales from the road. It’s also a tool for learning. Over this past year, we’ve learned that beer is being used as an alternative fuel, that there are tournaments for safety inspectors and that turkeys are indestructible.

So you can imagine my joy when I came across a phase I had never heard before, compliments of police in Nevada.

In a recent Facebook post, the Eureka County Sheriff’s Office shared that it had responded to multiple crashes along interstates due to “Mormon cricket sludge.”

Sounds tasty, right? As it turns out, this sludge can be a real problem for truckers.

Resembling a fat grasshopper, the flightless bugs gather in massive bunches and can completely cover stretches of the road. When crushed by vehicles, the insects leave behind a “sludge” that officials say makes roadways “EXTREMELY slick and unpredictable for stopping distance.”

Being pulverized into a slippery death lube isn’t the only thing these chubby little katydids are good for. Apparently they can be good eatin’ too. According to one report, Native Americans in Utah would gather, roast and grind the crickets into a flour that they would use to make treats known as “desert fruitcakes.” Can’t wait to not try that.

If you walk away with only one thing from this month’s edition of Slight Detour, it should be that crickets are far more versatile than we give them credit for. See, we’re learning.

Lotto loser

Also in this column, we’ve discussed a lot of lucky truckers winning big in the lottery. Practically every month, another driver is walking away a winner. And this past month, one driver won $500,000 while buying chicken, while another took home $50,000 from a scratcher ticket.

It’s not those folks I want to talk about this month. Instead, let’s focus on the person who let $50,000 slip away when a Powerball prize went unclaimed in Indiana.

According to the Hoosier Lottery, the winning ticket was sold at a Love’s Travel Stop in Demotte, Ind., for the Nov. 11, 2023 drawing. The lucky winner was given six months to claim the prize, but nobody came forward.

In May, lottery officials put out one final call in hopes of uniting the player with the money. Incredibly, the prize went unclaimed.

Jared Bond, director of external affairs for Hoosier Lottery, told Land Line that it’s “unique to have a prize of this size go unclaimed” but added that it’s common for this to happen with smaller prizes.

Having worked for years in radio, I can confirm that smaller prizes do often go unclaimed (much to the delight of underpaid radio talent everywhere) – but there’s a pretty big difference between a $25 Chili’s gift card and 50 grand in cold, hard cash.

Bond said that Indiana Code stipulates “unclaimed prize money will be added to the pool from which future prizes are to be awarded or used for special prize promotions.”

I’m going to assume the winner either died or lost the ticket – probably in the washing machine along with a few singles and a receipt from Target. Either way, the mystery person likely will never be aware of having been that close to a nice little payday, which is probably for the best.

Operation Counterproductive

We round out this edition of Slight Detour with a comment from the Pennsylvania State Police that left me puzzled.

Recently, the state’s DOT and law enforcement teamed up for an enforcement campaign targeting unsafe driving practices in work zones known as “Operation Yellow Jacket.” The purpose of the initiative, according to PennDOT, is to reduce the number of work zone fatalities.

As part of the operation, troopers are positioned in work zones in PennDOT vehicles wearing PennDOT-issued hardhats and vests. If they see a violation – such as speeding, tailgating or driving distracted – they radio another trooper in a marked police vehicle to initiate a traffic stop.

I hate to admit it, but it’s pretty clever, and I honestly have no problem with enforcing those laws in the name of safety. It was this comment from Trooper Jake Rhymestine of PSP Troop G that left me scratching my head.

“Our goal is not to write tickets. Our goal is to prevent the violations that would warrant a ticket from happening in the first place,” Rhymestine said. “Those violations are what can cost people their lives. That is why we want the public to know that the State Police have a presence in work zones: to give them an extra incentive to slow down and use caution. It could save a life.”

First off, it does kind of feel like your goal is to write tickets. I mean, you are changing from one Village People costume to another in an attempt to catch people red-handed.

Secondly, if you wanted people to know there is a police presence in work zones, wouldn’t that be better accomplished by – I don’t know – bringing actual police vehicles filled with individuals dressed in police uniforms?

It all just seems like a silly game of dress-up to me, but go ahead and have your fun in the name of safety. I’m all for reminding folks to slow down and save a life. Besides, if we’re going to complete the whole set, they still have the sailor, cowboy and leather-clad biker costumes to find. LL