I hate it when the Jake Brake wrinkles my dress

How many times during a working day do each of us hear the word “safety” thrown around? It’s a six-letter word that dictates every aspect of every minute in every day a driver works. If you want to force someone to do something they don’t want to do, just mention their “safety.” It’s a slam dunk.

Consequently, all this “safety” talk has degraded the true meaning of safety to the point of being totally unsafe.

Unsafe because it’s so often used as a tool for control, it’s no longer regarded as something beneficial. Safety is an idea so very malleable in each person’s mind, they pick and choose safety options based on personal comfort zones.

Here’s an example.

General public persons, unaffiliated with the trucking industry, often complain about the sound of Jake Brakes as being “startling,” or “disturbing.” Residents in Bath Township, Ohio, describe the noise as “similar to the firing of a gun and rattles windows in their homes.”

You know what’s louder than a gunshot or Jake Brake? A semi crashing through your front yard. That’s pretty loud. And unsafe. For real.

Bath Township is having an issue with truck noise on Herr Road, which cuts through a rural-residential area and has an anaerobic biofuel facility on it. Trucks hauling “semi-solid” biowaste (also known as “poop”) are scaring the poop out of residents who live on Herr Road by having the audacity to engage their air brakes, mid-neighborhood, on the way to the biofuel facility.

Let’s break this down.

People are mad because trucks make too much noise using their brakes to keep 80,000 pound loads of doo-doo upright and between the mustard and mayonnaise.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the truest load of crap I have ever been tasked to offer my readers.

It’s a tough job, but someone has to do it. At least I’m not hauling it through Bath Township, Ohio. Bless their hearts.

These are the same people who are righteously indignant about how more regulation makes safer drivers. These are the same people who want drivers to be well-rested but don’t want truck stops. The same folks who scream like banshees about safe driving, and ride the tail end of a trailer like a baby elephant following its mother.

They want everything to be safe, but only if it doesn’t somehow impede on their own personal comfort.

“I think safety belts should be a law, but they wrinkle my dress. Everyone but me should have to wear one.”

Hey kids, guess what? Safety isn’t always comfortable and you can’t have it both ways. You either want safe, professional drivers who can use whatever means they have and see fit to use to maintain control of the vehicle, or you can have a load of poop in your yard.

I choose safety.